To Share or Not to Share

Almost six months ago I had a baby. Since then I’ve written basically nothing. (The last thing I wrote says it all.) This lack of “productivity” (I put this in quotes because productive has come to mean something else entirely in the last while, mostly having to do with milk and laundry) is for all the obvious reasons that did not seem so obvious six months ago. In fact, right before giving birth, a friend asked me to look over a piece she had written for a blog about motherhood and in it she said something about how she used to have so much time.

I think my exact words in response were, “I always resent how parents constantly say, ‘I used to have so much time; what the hell did I do with it?’ as though all childless people have nothing to do.'” My friend was very kind and said nothing. Obviously she knew I’d be laughing at myself soon enough.

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In Great Expectation

Today I dared to pee on a stick. Actually, my bravery began a few days ago when I got on my bike and rode to the drugstore to pick up the pregnancy test.  I did my best to ride slow and not to sweat and more importantly, not to fall.

I had to do a u-turn on an unpaved road because they were doing construction.  Don’t fall. I rode to town and the Kruidvat was closed.  It was the day of the worker; everyone’s resting but me.  And of course, my in-laws had warned me about that last week but I forgot.

So yesterday I went again and everything was open and I tried not to make eye contact with the woman at the counter as I laid down six pregnancy tests.  Have a nice day, she said. Continue reading