To Share or Not to Share

Almost six months ago I had a baby. Since then I’ve written basically nothing. (The last thing I wrote says it all.) This lack of “productivity” (I put this in quotes because productive has come to mean something else entirely in the last while, mostly having to do with milk and laundry) is for all the obvious reasons that did not seem so obvious six months ago. In fact, right before giving birth, a friend asked me to look over a piece she had written for a blog about motherhood and in it she said something about how she used to have so much time.

I think my exact words in response were, “I always resent how parents constantly say, ‘I used to have so much time; what the hell did I do with it?’ as though all childless people have nothing to do.'” My friend was very kind and said nothing. Obviously she knew I’d be laughing at myself soon enough.

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Life Gets in The Way

Life gets in the way. That’s what my midwife says when I explain how we missed our son’s nap window because we stayed at the restaurant five minutes too late having dessert, or when the fire alarm goes off and wakes the baby an hour and a half after bedtime.  We are sleep training (have been for what seems ages), and my midwife holds my feet to the fire.  Except that sometime, she says, life gets in the way.

Such is the case with Mother Sugar.  Continue reading

Almost There, or The Pain of Bardo

Years ago, I went on a date with a diabetic. This was during a time in my life when I was convinced that I would never, ever again meet someone I could possibly love, let alone spend the rest of my life with. I was 29 or so and in the thick of dealing with my body going awry and watching what I perceived as every single person I knew getting engaged or married, and so I went on a date with a man who asked me out on — if you can even recall such a time — Friendster. He claimed to be like Josh Lyman from The West Wing, and that meant a whole lot to me in those days. Continue reading

Why I’m taking the stroller to a desert island

The Bahrain airport still has a metal detector once you pass through immigration. It is only there to find out whether or not you are carrying alcohol in your carry on luggage. Most people don’t know this, so they meticulously … Continue reading

Join the Conversation: Is there a dream you will never get to fulfill?

I expected this month’s salon conversation to go something like this: we share an unrealized childhood ambition; of being a painter, a poet, a police-woman. In the course of discussing these dreams, we realize they could actually be fulfilled if … Continue reading

An old dream.

The January edition of the Mother Sugar Salon, I’ll admit, rather stumped me.  The question (At this point in your life, is there a dream you will never get to fulfill? What is it- and what makes you so sure it’s out of reach?) knocks up against one of the deep-seated principles of our culture: this idea of living our dreams, of all things being always within our reach if we simply try hard enough.  My knee-jerk response to the question, then, was, No! Absolutely not.  At first, I could not imagine (or perhaps have so trained myself not to allow myself to imagine) listing even one ‘dream’ or aspiration of mine that I couldn’t, in one way or another, fulfill. Continue reading

Surely, we can do better than this.

I’m not quite sure where to begin this post, as I’ve started it now about a hundred times in as many different ways, so I’ll simply get right to it.  It’s superfluous to say that what has happened in Newtown, Connecticut, this past week has thoroughly horrified me, and has prompted more tears than I’ve shed in a very long time.  The whole ordeal is both beyond words (so many fall so short and then make me cringe) and, I think, (simultaneously, contradictorily) demanding of words.  To say the very, very least, it is confusing. Continue reading