I have started to write and then thrown away too many blog posts this week. I am feeling unable to generate anything of quality. So I have decided to share with you an idea that I have been kicking around. A while ago I dug out my old diaries and gave them a read. They were full of ridiculousness that was begging to be shared publicly. When I wrote these entries, over twenty years ago, every word was serious and a precious secret. If I had imagined that they would be shared one day I probably would have never written these thoughts down. Funny how time changes perception. Now, I find the worries and concerns and confusions of my young self utterly comical. I hope that you do too. My hope is that some of you may be brave enough to share some things that you wrote as kids or teenagers. If sharing your own diaries is too daunting I hope that you can at least laugh at mine. Here are some of the highlights, with the original spelling, grammar, punctuation and the original names.
I need to add a personal note to a particular MS contributor who makes an appearance in these entries (she will know who she is): I’m sorry. I was stupid when I was 13, I hope you know I love you.
May 2/88 (Age 11)
I know this has been said before but life is looking up. Adam dumped Kim + asked me out I said yes.
I guess I haven’t said anything about P.T.B.C or Pre-teen Boy Crazies. It’s a club Sheila, Angie and I are in. We made it up. Its fun. We try to where the same clothes + stuff like that.
January 19, 1990 Friday (Age 12)
Dancing Cold Weather
Depeche Mode School
Guys: I luv James
Freinds: I think Jill hates me.
Favorite Song: Bizzare Love Triangle – New Order
January 20, 1991 (Age 13)
I am having a bit of friend trouble. You see in total my close friends are Bethany, Cecile, Mellissa, Jill and Cheryl. Melissa and I were really good friends until school started again this year, but now – well, I really don’t know how to explain it. The way that she acts – I think she hates me. I guess I would rather be with Beth or Cecile, but I’m not sure if they really like me. I think they do.
I have one other minor problem that is that we aren’t very popular. Cecile has told me her – “getting popular” tricks, here they are
1) Were nice clothes
2) Quote TV Shows like Arsinio Hall and Saturday Night Live
3) Be SUPER nice
4) If your asked what you think of someone just say ”she/he’s cool”
5 Never say anything bad about anyone
6) Leave class just as the popular people do so to get in on their conversation
7) Don’t be to smart!!
Thats it, I gotta go to bed now.
Feb 10, 1991 (Age 14)
I want a boyfriend. It would be really great. There is a guy I know named Greg and recently he’s realy turned me on. Mentally, I hate him, however Physicaly, he is real good looking. I’ve wanted to do stuff with him. Not much, I’ve just wanted to neck. For the past 4 years I’ve known Greg there has been an attraction to him, but my friends teased me badly when we went out last year. He’s really very dumb, that gives me power over him, I like that. I really must say good-night now.