Life Gets in The Way

Life gets in the way. That’s what my midwife says when I explain how we missed our son’s nap window because we stayed at the restaurant five minutes too late having dessert, or when the fire alarm goes off and wakes the baby an hour and a half after bedtime.  We are sleep training (have been for what seems ages), and my midwife holds my feet to the fire.  Except that sometime, she says, life gets in the way.

Such is the case with Mother Sugar.  Life has gotten in the way for all of us the last several months.  Myself and Mit Schlag swim in the throes of sleep-deprived-what-the-hell-am-I-doing-new- mommy land.  Flapper Pie lost her writing window once her toddler dropped her nap.  La Zuccheriera was joining a lot of hands in matrimony with the peak of wedding season, and well, Pavlova Mud and Blackberry Honey have been busy too (I’ll let them tell you with what).

To be honest, life got in the way so much so we asked ourselves if we needed Mother Sugar anymore.  If it was worth making time for Mother Sugar.

The answer is yes.

Do you know who Mother Sugar is?  Mother Sugar is a psychoanalyst from Doris Lessing’s Golden Notebook to whom the Anna, the main character, visits regularly.  Mother Sugar is a pet name, “which, as time passed became much more than a person, and indicated a whole way of looking at life.” Mother Sugar is the means through which Anna is gradually able to see herself in perspective and gain control over her life.

Our Mother Sugar is hardly a chaise longue or therapy, but it is a space where we can ruminate and consider what happens to us, around us.  It’s a space that lets us breathe in a different way, and just because life got so damn interesting doesn’t mean we should give up on ‘our room of our own’.  Heck, with life moving at such a pace, all the more reason to pause.  Inhale. Exhale.  For we have all loved the kinetic effect of knowing one another- knowing you!- across borders of space and place and time.

So we make a promise to kick ourselves in the butt and come back to Mother Sugar.  With a few tweaks.  We are going to be gentle on ourselves.  Sometimes the pressure for a neat, slick, enlightening post (ooh to be freshly pressed!!!) results only in lumpy writers block, so we are going to let ourselves be a bit more messy in what we say, because well, life is messy and conversations are like that, full of half phrases and incomplete thoughts where you trust the one you’re talking to knows what you mean and forgives you these blips because they knows what’s worth keeping and would rather hear from you, however disjointed, than not hear from you at all.

And we’re going to start off with posts every two weeks.  Why?  Because Mother Sugar is as much about the conversation among us as the thoughts inspired to form a post, and we want to give ourselves time to have that conversation in the comments section.

We hope you’ll stay with us and join in.


8 thoughts on “Life Gets in The Way

  1. Thanks for this re-entry post, BeZ. There’s a new tenor in your voice — something maternal? — that I’m excited to hear more of. And I’m similarly excited to hear from the rest of you, to know what all you’ve been up to, and hear to your thoughts on the things that have been on my mind lately too.

    Something you wrote here, BeZ, stuck with me: the bit about Anna being able to see herself in perspective and gain control over her life. I’ve felt very much like Mother Sugar has given me moments of seeing myself in perspective — thanks to the rare gift of hearing what’s honestly happening in each of your lives. And although I’ve never thought of it in these terms, gaining control over one’s life seems to begin with communicating about it, with looking around and finding out what all is happening in it. SO, onward!

  2. I completely understand. Life does get in the way. My blog has spent far too many weeks without any new posts, but I have just been go, go, going for the last several weeks and I just haven’t had a chance to sit down and write (though I have managed to read an comment on others’ posts). I’ve been trying to get myself back in that routine of posting, but for now, I’m just riding the way that is life, saying yes to new adventures, and not beating myself up about it. I know that when I’m ready to right something new, I will. 🙂

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